Treachery Of The Mind
by Just A Little Bit Dramatic
Summary: Edward's POV of that day in the forest, when he broke Bella's heart and his own...set in New Moon.


**This is Edward's POV in New Moon, on the day he broke up with her. Just, his interpretation of everything she does. Edward's POV, obviously.**

**I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or Edward Cullen. I'm a little reluctant to write that last one, though.**

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." The words were almost impossible to force out, but I somehow did, knowing that she'd scoff at them, see through my plan. But she didn't.

"You…don't…want me?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, and her face melted into a tortured, almost accepting, mask of anguish.

"No." I met her gaze, sure that my own would give me away. But it seemed that my eyes, like my words, were all part of my charade,

"Well, that changes things." Her voice was calm, but she was trembling violently. Her eyes seemed to rip my heart in two, the hurt in them apparent. I looked into the trees as I continued, hating myself with every word.

"Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…_tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human." I looked back at her, saw her eyes wide with shock, and continued, still cursing every syllable. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I truly was sorry. Sorry for hurting her like this, and for hurting myself.

"Don't." Her voice had lowered to a hushed whisper. "Don't do this." Her beautiful face seemed almost to pale with despair, sharp contrast to the blush in her cheeks that I so dearly loved, and she bit down on her lip, hard.

I stared at her, knowing she'd misinterpret my gaze. "You're not good for me, Bella." I was lying so plainly now; surely she _had_ to see through it. I almost wanted her to. She was too good for me, always would be. She opened her mouth, starting to say something, and closed it. I kept staring, composed, dying inside.

"If…that's what you want." She murmured. I nodded once, and all blood drained from her face completely. She almost looked like one of us.

"I would like to ask one favour, though, if that's not too much." I said. Her face turned almost hopeful, as if she were daring to believe I'd contradict all I just said. I knew my face had changed, to angst, and I composed myself.

"Anything." Bella's voice was stronger, if only a little. I gave in for a minute, letting myself become the person I had been before.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I ordered passionately. "Do you understand?" She nodded helplessly, and I became serene again. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself – for him."

"I will." She whispered, nodded. I felt my tense body relax a little, praying she'd keep her promise, that she didn't love me so much as to harm herself because I left, the way I would for her.

"And I'll make you one promise in return." I said, knowing that these words would be the ones to break me, if any, and allow her to see through my treachery. The treachery of my mind, overruling my heart. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." I felt myself rip in two at my promise.

Her knees started to shake, and her pulse increased. Her heart was beating faster. "Don't worry. You're human – your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories?" Her voice was choked as she forced the words out. I let the words sink in. _I'd never forget you, Isabella Swan, even if you forget me. I wont let my memories fade the way I hope you'll let yours do._

"Well," I hesitated, "I wont forget." There was no way in hell I would. "But _my_ kind…we're very easily distracted." I forced a hollow smile. Empty. Then I stepped away form her, denying my will to go towards her. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

Her head snapped up, and she stared at me. "Alice isn't coming back." It sounded more like a question than a statement; if I were human, I wouldn't have heard it. I realized Alice was her best friend, her sister, and that must hurt too. I shook my head.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." I watched her face, memorizing it, wishing I had thought to burn it into my mind before I hurt her. Then I'd always remember her happy, radiant, not upset for my sake.

"Alice is gone?" I was right. I realized that when I heard her words. Alice was her best friend, and as reluctant as Alice had been to leave without saying goodbye, Bella was even more reluctant to believe she was gone.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." I watched her try to control her uneven breathing, and said the words I had been dreading.

"Goodbye Bella."

"Wait!" She cried, reaching for me. Involuntarily, I reached for her, but at the last minute pinned her wrists to her side. I leaned down, and my lips lightly met her forehead, my heart fighting against my mind, my common sense. Her eyes closed, and I seized the chance.

"Take care of yourself." I breathed, letting her go, and running. Running faster than I ever had before.

_I'll never forgive myself for this, Bella. You will always be the only one for me. _And as I ran, I made a vow. _I'll never love another woman, ever again._

**Well? I actually wrote a songfic, set straight after this called 'What's Left Of Me'. It'd be great if you could check it out, but I felt like writing this, so I did.**

**So please review, for poor Edward Cullen. Oh, and me...**

**Just A Little Bit Dramatic**


End file.
